Falling off the Wagon

Ugh...I gained so much weight the past two weeks and I didn't track a single item last week. I just stress ate and didn't pay too much attention to what I ate. I need to be single-minded about this. No more excuses.

Bad Week

This week has been tough. I've been reintroduced to my nemesis, stress-eating. I ate more than I was supposed to almost every day! I reverted back to my old ways surprisingly quick, and it bothers me.
I want to be in shape. I want to look good for my husband. I want to lessen my depression in any way possible. I keep going back and forth on this, and I keep slipping up.
I'm reading a book called Made to Crave by a woman named lysa terkeurst. It tackles over eating and health from a Christian perspective, and as I am seeking God out and desire a relationship with Him, this is a good choice for me to read. It talks about how our addiction to food (let's just call it what it is) is a deep problem that requires a deeper motivation from God to break. We were made to crave God above all else, and food is just a convenient substitution.
I want to get to the root of my issues. And as Dave Ramsey says, ninety percent of solving a problem is in realizing there is one. I have a problem with food and exercise, and with God's help, and in time, it will be corrected.
One practical thing I can do is exercise when I'm stressed instead of eating. Exercise is a great stress reducer.

Getting it back

I lost 3.8 of the 4.6 pounds I gained two weeks ago. Yay! Once you do what you need to do, your body responds.
P90X came in! I'm so ready to start. The only thing is that it comes with a nutrition guide that would have me eating a lot more than I'm used to. The idea is to give fuel for your body so that you can make it through the workouts well. I really want to get the most out of this program, so I may try their nutrition and see how it works out.

Bad week...

Today was my weigh in day...I gained 4.6 pounds. That is INSANE!! I took a break this weekend and fudged a little this week. But I had no idea it was four pounds worth!
It makes me wonder how committed I actually am. This week was hard, really hard. I had temptation staring me down everywhere. And because I'm not very overweight, I figure hey, I can relax a little. Nope! I can't, and this proves it. What's worse, I can't work out for a long time because I have a joint problem in my low back, and until it heals I can't do anything strenuous.
This is an opportunity for me to recommit. Now I know what happens when you relax-you gain the weight back. So now it's points values only. I need to track all that I eat-no more fudging. Hopefully next week will be good news at the scale.

Cheating

I didn't track my food Friday night or all day Saturday. I was on a mini vacation with my husband and I decided to take a break. Bad idea. I didn't eat anything outrageous, but it made it hard to get back on the wagon on Sunday. I think that if I'm seriously going to do this, I need to do it ALL the time. It messed with my mind, eating whatever I wanted for only two days. But I'm back on track now. Live and learn!

He's Proud

Last night, my husband told me that he was proud of me! He said that my resolve in this weight loss journey has been great and that it makes him proud of me. That meant so much to me, and it makes me only want to keep going. No matter how hard it gets, comments like that make it beyond worth it.
We're supposed to be getting p90x in the mail today-that's my next challenge. I really want to do all ninety days, yet I'm so nervous! I don't think that I can do it. But realistically I can. I've just never even tried anything like this before. I'll take it one day at a time.

Little bit of loss

I lost another pound this week. It's not much, but I'm happy that it's going in the right direction.