Off the Wagon...Again.

Ugh. This is a hard post to write because I'm admitting my failure, but I have been totally off track for the last week and a half. I ate what I wanted and didn't exercise a minute. And the weird thing is, I don't know why. Why fall off like that?
Tonight I just really was thinking about how I'm not happy with this weight and how I'm not proud of the job I'm doing, and I am like, why not get back on? I recall a quote that says, "Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts". I need to summon the courage to get back up and try again.
The thing that gets me is that I haven't been one hundred percent committed to this. It's not just about losing weight either--it's also about being healthy and comfortable in my own skin. I need to make exercise and eating right as second nature as breathing. Even when I fell away this past week I was always thinking in the back of my mind,"I can't believe I'm eating this right now!" it sickened me. I literally felt nauseous. So why do it? Why sabotage myself? It's silly.
So tomorrow it begins--tracking, jogging, resistance training, choosing healthy food. I think I'm going to do p90x twice a week and jogging 4 times per week, simply because I love to jog and I'm motivated to do it. Also I need to jog first thing in the morning (one because it's so hot!). It's a great start to my day and I won't be falling into excuses about not doing it later on.
Long post! I had a lot to say, though. So here's to another shot--and I'll work on staying committed this time.

New start

I feel like I haven't posted in a while. I almost gave up eating right and exercising a few days ago. It's hard! But I instead decided to take it up a notch and start P90X over again on the harder version. I'm on day 2 and I'm so glad I didn't give up!
I also gave myself some new motivational tools (thanks to Pinterest). One is a jar that has 35 rewards written on slips of paper, such as a bubble bath, no chores for a day, and two of them are piercings! When I lose a pound I randomly pick out a reward for myself. I also have two jars, and one has 35 gems in it. Every time I lose a pound, I move a gem over to the second jar. It's like a more tangible way to see my weight loss.
I also have a motivational page on Pinterest that I pin pictures on that inspire me in my weight loss goals. Mostly women that look like how I want to look. I've definitely got a new focus! And it feels great.

Short Term Goals

I decided last night that I need to create some short term goals. I want to lose ten pounds by the end of August, followed by ten pounds every month and a half after that until the new year. If I stick to these mini goals, I will reach my goal by then. I'm just tired of halfway doing this. I need to put a fire under me so that I can stay focused. I have definitely plateaued and I know it's because of my eating. It's not out of control or anything but I do eat more than my points allowance most of the time. So it's time to really focus on some short term, attainable goals. 

On Shaky Ground

This weekend has been weird. On Friday my husband and I went to a lake and I ate Dorito's for the first time in months; then we went kayaking for two and a half hours. On Sunday I had Baked Lay's chips and too much cereal, but I did my P90x cardio. Then tonight I ate 3 slices of french toast and 5 strips of bacon...then went running for 20 minutes in hot weather. It's like I'm torn. I'm so used to this healthy lifestyle, yet my body still craves the old food. The only thing I can think to do is choose to not have the unhealthy stuff. I threw out the Baked Lay's bag (which was almost half full). What's wrong with Baked Lay's? Nothing...except I can eat the whole bag in one sitting!
The book Weight Loss Boss by the president and CEO of Weight Watchers talks about managing your environment. He says that willpower is HIGHLY overrated. If you manage your environment (ie. throwing out the chips, not frequenting fast food places, keeping lots of fresh fruits and veggies in the house), then it is much, much easier to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I suppose that's what I have to do, which is what I've been doing except for this weekend. I need to get back to the "no junk food" thing, put on motivation every day, and do my exercises in a timely manner (I have a habit of skipping them if I wait too late in the day). Just refocusing.

Been doing good!

I wanted to update on how I am doing, which is really well! I've been tracking my food and doing my P90X every day. You have to take it one day at a time. One good day turns into two, which turns into a good week.
I said no junk food until I'm done this workout series, and since Special K Chocolately Delight is a good source of fiber, is made with whole grains, and isn't overwhelming with the chocolate, I'm adding it to my list of snacks. When I get a sweet tooth, I eat plain fresh strawberries with fat free whipped topping, frozen green grapes, and bananas. Yet I wanted something that could satisfy that chocolate itch while being a good source of nutrients. I have that in Special K!

Bad Weekend

This weekend wasn't so good weight loss wise. We went out to dinner on Friday and I had more to eat on Saturday and Sunday than I should have. I think my problem is I didn't track my food. But today I'm back on the straight and narrow.
I almost didn't do P90X yesterday because we had company, but at ten o clock pm my husband convinced me to do it. I'm so glad I did! It makes me even more ready to do it today. He's starting it today! I am so excited to have a workout buddy.
I've learned that one of the biggest keys to successful weight loss is learning how to bounce back from mistakes. They will happen, and if you let them weigh you down, you wont go anywhere. Every new day is a chance to start over fresh! Take advantage of it.

One Pound down, 34 to go!

My weight loss has been slow going. It's been about 11 months and I've lost 16 pounds. That's because I've kept regaining it and losing it again. Since I've been losing weight the lowest weight I got down to was 167, which is 7 pounds lighter than I am now. So, with that said, I can say that I have gone three whole days without junk food. And I've lost one whole pound! I've been keeping up with P90X. I even requested a page on pinterest so that I can pin motivating quotes and pictures to it. I am serious about this. When I say no junk food, I mean I didn't even steal a fry off my son's plate last night. What made me decide to make the change? To be honest I really don't know. I've wanted to lose the weight I put on postpartum since it happened, but three days ago something just clicked. My mom said that if I want to see results I really need to stop with the junk food, even if it is in my POINT value range. I had a talk with my husband after that and just decided that it sounded like a great idea. Whenever I would eat junk and then think about exercising, I'd think,"what's the point?" Now I can't wait to exercise after I eat because I know I've put in healthy fuel.
Saying no to junk food is hard. Very hard. The first night after I decided this I went camping with my sister and her family. They had smores of course (what kind of camping adventure doesn't include smores?). I ate a whole bag of baby carrots that night because I wanted some chocolate SO badly!! But I woke up the next day beyond proud of myself, and that is worth just about anything.
Another point and then I'm done. It's not nearly so hard saying no to foods that are bad for you and your waistline when you keep the goal in mind. If you forget the finish line, the race seems to go on indefinitely. I reminded myself as I crunched on a carrot that I'm not doing this to be mean to myself or to deprive myself. I'm doing this because I know what I want, and anything worth having is worth making changes for. I also realize that the true treat, food wise, is giving your body something it truly craves: health.